Thursday, March 12, 2009

Cooking Class 101: Turkey Jerky

One of the things I love about cooking is learning new things. Take the dinner I attempted last night. I've never made herb-infused turkey jerky before, but learned it really isn't that hard to do. You don't even need a formal recipe. Here's what you do:
Turn oven on to 375*. Take a previously frozen 7# turkey breast you've been thawing in the fridge for a couple of days and...now this is the important part...assume it is completely thawed out. Do your prep, carefully stuffing a butter herb mix under the skin and put into the oven to roast. Open carefully chosen bottle of wine to have with dinner. Happily prepare the rest of your meal. Check the turkey in an hour or so when it is supposed to be done. Insert your insta-read thermometer into the deepest part of the breast to make sure it is up the required 165*. When the thermometer shows a 95* interior temp, assume a puzzled look. Pour another glass of wine. Put breast back in oven because obviously it just needs a little more time. Check again in 15 minutes and see the temp has gone up 15*. Slide turkey back in oven. Stand by attentively as side dishes get cold. Pour a third glass of wine. Pull turkey out again and mutter "WTF" as the temp has only gone up another 15*. After 2 hours, pull breast out of oven and decide to eat outer parts which must be done. Question the sharpness of your chef's knife as it fails to slice through the breast. Finally get a slice off and wonder about your teeth as they barely chew through a piece that has the tenderness of a Firestone tire. Finish bottle of wine. Accuse your wife of trying to sabotage your relationship after she comments that "the turkey seems a little tough". Toss your 7#'s of turkey jerky into the garbage as you enjoy your tuna sandwich which is what you really wanted for dinner anyway.

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